BEYOND SAYING I DO…

Smiling faces everywhere, elegant decorations; different types of lighting complementing each like the beautiful colours of the rainbow. What about the different attires? The combination of different materials and colours is so adorable. What about the different personalities on the ground?

The rhythm of the music coupled with dynamic dance steps? Hmm, it’s something of joy, you can’t behold the environment without smiling at least. There is laughter, there is joy, everything Is WOW! Yeah, I am talking about the wedding party. All of these are put together just for two people – the couple.

The couple walk majestically to the altar with smiles and beauty amidst the smiles and cheering of the congregation to stand before the priest to take their marital vows. There is shouting, clapping and standing ovations after they say- I DO.

With all of this joy and celebration, some couples don’t even last for months before the Joy becomes sad. The question is WHAT HAPPENED TO THE JOY OF THE COUPLE AFTER SAYING I DO? Let’s look at some of reasons:

1. SECRET PAST:
Before the altar there were some pasts that were hidden underneath the smiles. When the other partner discovers the truth, marriage becomes sour. I could recall, sometime ago I met a lady who is going to be in her 40s but she just got married about a year earlier.

She told me while she was single she was the flirting type. During her higher institution she aborted several with her personal doctor for abortion. The doctor begged her not to abort the last pregnancy because it has gone far but she insisted. After that abortion she couldn’t get pregnant again, she began to regret it. She said right now since they have been married she hasn’t gotten pregnant. The husband is very wealthy and he promised to take her abroad only if she gets pregnant for him.

To complicate things, while we were still talking a married man came. He said this is the man she has been dating since higher institution. They are still having sexual intercourse even after marriage. Whenever her husband travels she will go to a hotel that is miles away from her own location to have an illicit affair with his married ex lover.

Now, if the husband discovers all of this, will the marriage still be joyful? That secret you are keeping from your partner today will definitely disgrace you tomorrow. Kindly pray to God for wisdom on how and when to share your past.

2. AILMENT.
There is the secret of untold ailment. Some people have some terminal diseases they refused to disclose before the altar. Some are impotent, epileptic, HIV/AIDS positive etc.
When these are unfolded in marriage, love begins to wax cold as one partner feels betrayed.

3. INCOMPATIBILITY:
While courting many people overlook some important issues all in the name of love. Some say that they will change their partner or their partner will change in marriage. These weaknesses that were neglected during courting, became a big deal in marriage. The issue you neglect now may tear your marriage apart.

4. CHILDLESSNESS;
It is the joy of all married people to see their children. But there are cases when the reverse is the reality. What then happens to the joy of marriage when children are not forthcoming? Can you still love your spouse at this period? Many marriages have failed due to childlessness, this is a test that not all can cope with.

5. FINANCE:
There are cases where some people become rich after saying I do and they forget their family. There are also cases where some people encounter sudden financial dryness after saying I do and It does affect their marriage negatively. These are sudden surprises that can come up after marriage coping with them or finding a common ground to solve makes marriage better.

The list of possible things that can Mar the joy of the couple after saying I do is endless. Anything can happen in marriage both the good, the bad and the ugly. You should prepare for the unexpected after marriage. You should know that there can be unforeseen circumstances after marriage For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?Luke 14:28 Just as Jesus encouraged preparation before building a house, your preparation for marriage should start now not afterwards.

This is why you need not to despise the place of praying before marriage. You must put God ahead; he knows the final from the beginning. Don’t fail to ask questions too. Watch & pray. To all married people, let God be at the centre of your marriage, so that even when things are falling apart, the center can still hold. Let Love lead, let forgiveness be consistent and let it be a norm in your marriage.
© Josephine Aremo