Due to the ignorance of some men, the concept of submission has been abused. Such men on the basis of submission, use the instruments of culture, religion, and personal ideology to subjugate women. God never created men to dominate women or turn them to mere objects. There are cases where God called men to order to address cases of abuse of women in marriage. “Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant” Malachi 2:14, KJV. The text above shows how God made Himself a witness on how men of Malachi’s day dealt treacherously against their wives. There was also the case of the daughters of Zelophehad who were denied the right to inherit their father’s inheritance because they were women (Number 36: 10-12). God had to adjust the prevalent law of that time to prevent abuse or denial of women’s rights.
Below are ways submission in marriage is being abused in our society today:

1. Women shouldn’t have a say

As a human being, women have their views and opinions on issues of life. In marriage, the husband should not shut his wife up from expressing her views on issues. Men who listen to their wives’ wisdom avoid several errors and live peaceful lives.

2. Women don’t have rights

Some cultures don’t give women the right to be next-of-kin to her husband or inherit him. This isn’t biblical. In marriage, both become one and should inherit the other in the case of death.

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3. Women should not lead

Some believe leadership positions are not for women. So, they do not allow their wives to follow a career path, pursue their dreams or own a business. The spirit and the power of leadership is also vested in women. God gives this gift to everyone according to His will.
Dear husband, allow your wife to rise in leadership position according to her God-given capacity.

The reason some women get agitated by the subject of submission is because some men have abused it, using it as a tool to victimize them.
For submission to be achieved in marriage, both the husband and wife must fulfill their responsibilities according to God’s word.

4. Women are sex objects

Some men don’t see anything good in women other than for sex; hence they exploit and molest them. In some marriages, husbands use their wives for selfish sexual gratification and don’t care about theirs. There are cultures where men even give their wives to strangers for sex for selfish gain. What an absurdity!

5. Women are properties

Some men are of the opinion that paying the bride price of a woman makes her their property. Their wives therefore don’t have a life of their own but to be used as they like.
This is wrong! The bride price you paid is a sacrifice of honour to your wife’s family and not a cost for buying her.

6. Women shouldn’t express themselves

In some regions, they believe a woman shouldn’t be given the opportunity to express her talents or skills. They use law and religion to subjugate women. Every one irrespective of gender is born free and should be given the opportunity to express their God given potentials.

7. Women shouldn’t be educated

Education is one of the keys to liberation which some women have been deliberately denied of to further subjugate them.
This is wickedness! All forms of abuse meted on women on the basis of submission are extremes and unsupported by God. Dear single lady, do not marry any man that displays the tendency to subjugate you in marriage.

In conclusion, men should treat their wives with love and they will submit naturally. Forcing your wife to submit or demanding submission from her when you don’t perform your responsibility as a man is tantamount to wickedness which would not go unpunished by the one who instituted marriage. As a man, if you abuse submission in your marriage, now is the time for repentance, otherwise the judgment of God will come upon you swiftly just as it did Nabal. “And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.” Malachi 2:13-14

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Meditation: Submission is not slavery or subjugation.

Prayer: Dear God, help me to respect my wife and all women in Jesus name.
Confession: I will love and respect my wife.

By Abiodun Aremo